Sticks and Stones

by Nicole Allard | More from this Blogger

I'm sure you've heard of this old saying, "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me". Unfortunately, kids remember the darndest things.

It's a fact: everyone gets picked on as a child. Some even as an adult. I remember getting called names like "short stuff", "skinny minny", etc. I was much shorter and quite stickly. I have always been that way. I wasn't one to really take names seriously, and I didn't mind being short. However, those "skinny" names are still annoying. I'm still too thin for my height, and it still bothers me. I know what you're thinking! You're lucky! What are you complaining about?

Well, I would like to be in the normal weight range for my height, but no matter what I can do I can't gain weight! Its frustrating, and really irritating when people point it out. I know, I'm skinny. I don't need to be told. No one would have the nerve to say, "Wow, you're pretty chubby!". Why do they think it's okay to do that to me? All right, enough with my rant. I want to tell you a story.

I was born by a full-blooded Canadian French father and a nearly full-blooded Native American mother. My parents had six children, and we all came out with various skin, hair, and eye colors. However, my brother stuck out more than the rest of us. His skin was so dark, people assumed he was African American! Strangers thought my parents had adopted him. Relatives, friends, and kids in school all poked fun at him for it. Even strangers would come up to my parents and say that it was nice of them to adopt a child from the inner city. When my parents explained that he was theirs, they received nasty looks as if they were lying! How embarrassed my brother must have felt. People still make remarks about how dark he is, and he's in his late forties! It has resonated within him, and I know it bothers him.

He's now married with an African American step-daughter. He has called her unspeakable names when drinking, and constantly pokes fun at her. It's horrible. I'm no psychiatrist, but I believe this is a manifestation of his childhood filled with name-calling and questioning.

My point of this story is to be careful of remarks you make to your children. My parents love all of us unconditionally, but their remarks hurt him. They didn't mean to do it. They had no idea that it would have this impact. So, take my story as a lesson for you and your children. Those little remarks can hurt, and it doesn't stop when they become adults. Labeling them in any way can literally last of lifetime of angst.

Stay Safe!

Learn more about Nicole Allard

Nicole Allard is the Founder of Writer's Success (http://writerssuccess.

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